Instructions and tips for an adequate day or life....maybe

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  1. Start the day with a good song. Use Spotify, or iTunes, or a CD or a tape or a Record. If all else fails, sing.
  2. Check the weather and dress accordingly. Looking outside works as well as your phone app.
  3. Make sure to have matching socks with no holes
  4. Prepare protein, vegetables and fruit for the day. You are an adult now!
  5. Check your emails 
  6. Now check your social media status for self importance credits
  7. Like at least 5 posts by people you know/ have seen/follow or you feel are more than just imaginary friends
  8. Comment unnecessarily on forums in order to keep your IQ from climbing too high. Intelligent people are just pretentious!
  9. Drink Kombucha and apple cider vinegar to cleanse your digestive system and also your soul. 
  10. Go for a walk or run today. Movement of any kind is gooood.
  11. Your expensive shoes you are wearing today are not worth the money
  12. The expensive organic coffee you have today is worth the money!
  13. Super expensive whiskey is always worth the money!
  14. Learn a new word today. Then try to look smart using it in front of people you love and reign over.
  15. Discuss politics with as many people as you can, even if you don't know much about it. (and you really don't by the way)
  16. Read books. If you don't want to read books, don't expect smart friends. Start by faking smart with a stocked bookshelf. Fake it till you make it. 
  17. Never add sugar to a good coffee
  18. Eat a jet plane today, that's where sugar belongs
  19. Seasonal fruit is yummy. If you are on a ketogenic diet and refuse fruit, you are a moron.
  20. Do squats today. Any type, just squat. Do it frequently, intermittently, lovingly. 
  21. If you can't squat; study squats, practice squats, hang out with obsessive squatters!
  22. Do Tai Chi today!. By the way it is not MAGIC. It is any slow movement with controlled breathing and focus. Yes really, that's it!
  23. If you lack concentration skills and the ability to think deep, please avoid Tik tok. It is the thief of brains!
  24. Laugh more!!. You are way too serious.
  25. Add a really good swear word to your day. Just be aware of context and environment. (you will only make this mistake once)
  26. Believe as many conspiracy theories as you can. I'm sure it won't damage your character at all?
  27. Weight training will not stunt your growth, it will actually help you look really, really cool!
  28. If you have not seen the Matrix, then you are dead to me.
  29. Remember these rules; all criticism is an unmet need. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, German Shepherds can have an IQ of 80, the average human has an IQ of 100. Donald Trump probably has an IQ higher than most of us. Sooooo, that's why we should be careful of righteousness?
  30. Pat dogs more often!
  31. Ask better questions. To yourself and others. 
  32. Comparison is the thief of joy. The reality is, we all feel sad sometimes. No-one is perfect! Not Even Keanu. Don't be too hard on yourself.
  33. Appreciating and admiring some form of weather or landscape daily helps put life in perspective. It can leave you in amazement, give feelings of  happiness, abundance, contentment. Sometimes the free things in life are the most pleasurable. 
  34. Appreciate really nice expensive jewelry. There is no feeling better than the joy of a nice watch.
  35. Talk to your mum and dad today, it's important. Life is short!
  36. Don't dwell on shitty family members behaviour, they were sent to test your patience. (score card = 0)
  37. Did I remind you to make your bed?
  38. Keep a journal. Write, scribble, draw. Even if does not help productivity, 12 months from now you will be at least amused at the person you were.
  39. Do something nice for someone else today
  40. Have you drunk enough water today?
  41. Go and drink some more water!
  42. Dwell on why no one has done nice things for you today.
  43. Find any animal to pat or stare at for awkward periods of time
  44. Say hi to you neighbours more often, it will mitigate passive aggressive behaviour
  45. Get 8 hours sleep, it's the reward for all the cool shit you did today. 


Comments

  1. SusJuly 22, 2020 at 9:11 PM

    Not matching socks (same style) is the only way forward.

    Keanu may not be perfect, but he IS breathtaking 😁

    ReplyDelete
  2. AstarteJuly 24, 2020 at 6:06 PM

    Make my bed? I totally shift my bed!

    ReplyDelete

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